Procrastination

Ah procrastination…it’s just so much easier to put things off. And the sad part is that it is socially acceptable. People regularly justify their procrastination by saying to themselves and others “it’s ok, I work better under pressure”. Or worse yet, people lie to themselves by thinking that they are better off not trying too hard because they might fail anyway.

Underneath procrastination lies a very insidious problem that many of us deal with, without even knowing it – emotional dysregulation. You see, whether or not you procrastinate homework, house chores, or tasks at your job, procrastination allows you to temporarily feel better about your dreaded tasks for a little while. Because let’s face it, nobody actually works better under pressure. When you’re under the gun, you’re far more prone to mistakes. And leaving a task until the last minute doesn’t make failing any less disappointing.

So what is emotional dysregulation? Essentially, it’s the inability to soothe yourself in a way that actually benefits you in the long run. Tasks that are hard and unpleasant make us feel bad, so we try to find ways to soothe ourselves through the discomfort of completing those tasks. People who can’t soothe themselves through that discomfort often choose to procrastinate the task because it feels better for now. Unfortunately, procrastinating does not actually benefit us. In fact, it’s often the reason why we don’t perform the way we want to.

I’m sorry if I’ve suddenly made you feel like an emotional mess. Take heart, we all do it. I definitely procrastinate dealing with mail, bills and house work As Long. As. I. Possibly. Can. When it comes to house work, something inside me just cringes and calls out desperately for some Netflix.

This is where mindfulness comes in. Mindfulness helps us to stay in the present moment and accept what is. When we feel crappy about an upcoming task, mindfulness helps us to stay present instead of thinking about all the other ways we could be having fun or feeling better. Mindfulness helps us to detach from the emotions that these tasks bring up in us. When we feel that unpleasant feeling that those tasks bring up, we can recognize it for what it is – a temporary sensation that will pass.

Here’s a short exercise you can do when you feel like procrastinating.

I take a breath.

I name the feeling that pushes me to procrastinate (is it pain, upset, frustration, anger?).

Recognize that this feeling will pass. Breathe as the feeling continues to grow.

I ask myself, what do I need in this moment to continue working just for one more moment?

I ask myself, how can I feel better about this task?

I forgive myself for feeling this way.

I remind myself of my goal, why do I know this task is important?

I continue to breathe as I try to refocus on the task and wait for the feeling to pass.

Try it out the next time the urge to procrastinate arises. Let me know what you think!